I have been extremely unwell for the last 6 or 7 weeks due to getting pneumonia and not being able to do.. well.. anything..
It can take up to 3-6 months to recover completely from it.
Because I couldn’t function, I was forced to stop working, and thankfully my incredible team members were able to keep everything running without me.
(I practice what I preach and always make sure my business is systemised and able to be run by other people so that it doesn’t rely on me too much).
This morning I was about to jump on my first team meeting after almost 2 months and I have so many thoughts going through my head.
Including memories and emotions from team meetings and staff ‘issues’ I use to have when I owned my beauty salons 10 years ago have been popping up in my head…
My biggest fear in business (and life) is always that people aren’t happy with me or my work or the results they are getting.
This includes how the clients feel and how my staff feel.
I know this comes from something deep within, and I practice letting go of being responsible for the way other people feel constantly, but, the thoughts still arise and turn into a monster I need to battle before I jump on the zoom call.
I want to share my process with you incase you are a business owner who also deals with and struggles with anxiety or fear before team meetings.
First: acknowledge the fears and thoughts and get them out of your head using pen and paper.
Mine were: “my staff are going to complain about having to do something” and “they’re going to tell me we’ve been having complaints and I’m going to have to fix them” and “they’re going to not like me for not being able to do what I normally do, or for changing my mind again” and “what if the business is better without me and they don’t even need me anymore and they are going to start their own business without me.”
Most of these thoughts and fears come from my past, things I dealt with in my twenties when I had no idea what I was doing as a leader or employer.
And even thoughI know better than this now, I still have thoughts, and the thoughts create emotions of fear and guilt and low self esteem / self worth.
Here’s what I do to work through them before I attend the meeting, so I can show up in a good headspace and as a strong leader for my team.
I ask myself: “Are these things really true?” and most of the time the answer is “no” or “I don’t know yet”.
I can also ask myself: “is there a chance I am making this up in my head and none of it is actually going to happen?” and the answer is “yes”.
I then ask: “What do I know is actually true?” and write down things that I know are real, such as: “my team are amazing and are doing such a great job, I am so proud of them and grateful for them” and “my clients are happy and are getting results. I know this because I saw some results the other day”.
I can also plan for the worst case scenario in advance… if these things actually do happen, what will I do about them?
And then write down a list of things that you will do if they do happen, then, you are prepared for the worst and your fears will normally ease up a bit because you know that if anything does go wrong, you can handle it.
I then decide the intention of the meeting and how I want to show up during it.
I decide I want to make sure my team knows how amazing I think they are and how grateful I am for them. I want to tell them they are doing such a great job and I am really happy with what they’re doing and how proud I am of them for doing so well without me.
This needs to happen early in the meeting to make sure the energy is good and so they are reminded that I care.
If I have fears about clients being unhappy because I have not been able to show up as much as I normally do, I can also be vulnerable and share with my team that this is one of my concerns, and that I would like to know how everyone is going and that I really want us to focus on making sure the clients are happy this week.
And then, as it turns out, we had the meeting, my team were so happy to see me, I was so happy to see them, they were handling everything amazingly, I was so impressed, we had had no client complaints or cancellations, everyone was happy, and everything will carry on as planned!
Everyone always feels better when we all come together and share what’s going on for us and how each other is feeling and what we have been going through, and this is another “what do I know is true” that I can write down next time my anxiety pops up before a meeting.
I’d love to know if you can relate to this or if it helped you.
Love Carissa xo